The Essence of Jaded
by Toorikosu
Summary: All in life has meaning one way or another. Who's to truly say that proverbs can depict the knowledge of life? One soulseeker aims to find out, and with the help of the Elrics she may just get her answers. Yet can she answer thier questions as well?
1. Prologue

**The Essence of Jaded **

By: Toorikosu

Chapter 1: Epilogue 

_Everything in life has meaning one way or another. What's done cannot be undone, or can it? What can harm you can help you. What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger, or does it? Who's to truly say that these time-old proverbs can depict the true knowledge of life? One soul-seeker aims to find out, and with the help of the Elric brothers she may just get her answers. Yet can she too give them the answers to their questions as well?_

It's a cynical knowledge, it's a contemptuous skill, and it's even a disdainful art as well as a loathsome discipline. No matter what you call it, it will always be **Jaded Alchemy**. There's no getting around the sick and twisted truth because no matter how many synonyms you use, it always finds its way back to the word** Jaded** because that's what it is. It's a jaded science that man wrought upon the world. It's alchemy.

Alchemy, the God's science, is the art of transmutation. It calls for the basis of equivalent exchange: in order to gain something, you must first give something up of equal value. Yet not everyone can perform this unique transformation, and those who do are called alchemists.

Some wonder if alchemists are to be feared. Are they evil? Is one who converts God's work into another form to be trusted? For what divine spirit gave them the knowledge, much less the ability to declare that His almighty work is unjust, therefore must be altered? Though it is arguable that had He not wanted his children to have such a gift, it would not exist in the first place. No matter how you look at it, you can call it what you will and still end up at ground zero.

It seems that most opinions made are based upon the acts of the military's State Alchemists. They are a prominent militia granted the King Furher's approval to use their alchemy as needed in confrontational situations. Most are recognizable due to their unique blue uniforms, but can only be truly certified as a State Alchemist by a seemingly simple pocket watch with King Furher's signature insignia. Also, subsequent to passing the National Alchemist qualification exams, each alchemist is knighted with their own title derived from their distinctive form of alchemy or another characteristic. Some names are based upon their alchemic talents or research, while others fit their bodily concepts.

There are many alchemists in the military, working as the "Military's Dog". There are even more alchemists spread out across the globe. Yet no matter what kind of alchemist you solicit, you will always discover the "One Truth" of alchemy. In order to gain something, you must lose something. There is no such thing as making something of nothing, for this science has proven it. You always have to give in order to receive. It's cause and effect, you reap what you sow. It's the balance of nature saying that everything must be equal in life, and in death. It's karma, and what goes around… will always come around. That in itself is the meaning of existence. Yet not everybody can discover this so easily, not even prodigies or soul seekers. And that's what they're about to learn.


	2. Every Action Deserves A Reaction

**The Essence of Jaded **

By: Toorikosu

Chapter Two: An action always deserves a reaction

WOOOOT! The train whistles shot out a loud, sharp noise to announce its arrival. Multiple doors opened simultaneously, and a river of people poured from each opening to mold into a large mob. There were no friendly conversations, only the hustle of businessmen and the occasional cry of a momentarily lost child. A loud, roar of hushed voices filled the large station only to be out-matched by the train's engine. That was until someone said one particular word that was the trigger to his rage

"Who're you calling an undersized bean rejected by the farmer because I'm so small I couldn't fill up an ant?" growled the famous "bean" of the military. A suit of armor next to him waved his hands slightly. "But brother, he didn't say that. Please, Brother, don't make a scene." His hollow eyes darted around nervously. People were defiantly staring at the scene that had occurred. Golden eyes narrowed in on the empty armor that was known as Alphonse Elric. "Why are you taking his side!" demanded the elder of the two brothers. Al stared down at his short sibling in silent protest.

"Don't blame your brother, Full Metal. Just start drinking your milk and maybe you'll grow some." Commented the higher-ranking alchemist. Ed's eyes squinted. Already the bastard had commented on two of his most dangerous subjects. "I won't drink something that comes out of a cow. It's not right!" he shouted. His voice rang throughout the station, only causing more people to stare. Roy chuckled, being his usual cheery self. "Colonel Mustang, Sir, could you tell us why we're here?" asked Al. Roy looked over to the boy locked within armor. There was a moment of silence before Roy grinned. "That's for me to know, and you to keep guessing." He declared. Edward groaned loudly.

Another sound rang over the train's whistle. It was a woman's scream. "Stop that thief!" she yelled, pointing after a man who was running. His stride was quite unbalanced as he lugged behind him a large leather bag. People standing by just stood there, not showing any intentions on catching the thief. The woman screamed again and now pointed to a heavily clothed figure. "That man stole her luggage!" she shouted. The victim just stood there, making no notion of retrieving her bag. It looked as though she didn't even comprehend the fact that someone had just stole her belongings.

Ed glanced at Roy, the Flame Alchemist didn't move. His brows furrowed. "Let's go, Al." The famous Full Metal hopped over the railing to the drop eight feet below. He landed on his automail leg, making it so he didn't feel any pain, and chased after the thief. Al followed but took a different route. He hustled down the stairs, causing a great distance between him and the thief, however Ed was hot on his trail. His armor shook with every pounding step he took. Had he glanced back, he would notice that Roy was casually making his way down the steps.

"Stop right there!" Edward ordered. He clapped his hands and pressed them against the cold ground. Of course he couldn't feel the cold due to his white gloves. Blue alchemic lights danced around his palms and shot skyward as did metal bars. The rods rammed into the ceiling, causing an ear shattering "boom" to take place. They circled the crook and held him captive. They just so happened to circle around Edward as well. The robber dropped his loot and charged at Edward. He swung haphazard punches at the Elric but Ed dodged each of them swiftly. He slapped his metal hand and transmuted a blade from the automail. He knocked away the thief's flailing punches and held the blade to the man's throat. Instantly the man halted. Slowly his hands rose toward the ceiling. "Don't… please don't."

A small audience cheered for the young alchemist. "You did it, Brother!" exclaimed Al from outside the cage. Edward turned and grinned. The thief sunk to his knees, knowing he was defeated. There was another flash as the cage dissolved back into the concrete floor. Security promptly handcuffed the crook and led him away. While they did that, Ed walked over and picked up the leather bag. His eyes widened. Despite it's small size, it was heavy! He struggled to stand but then suddenly the weight was gone. He looked up to see Colonel Mustang returning the bag back to its owner. A golden brow twitched. "Why that bastard…" Al clasped a gentle hand on his brother's shoulder. "It's not worth it."

Roy stood up tall and proudly, holding out the precious cargo to the woman. It took a moment for her to respond, and then she only lifted her head slightly. The brim of her hat raised up to abandon the small shadow that had been formerly cast over her eyes. Emerald green eyes stared into Roy's black pupils. A gloved hand reached over to claim the bag. Then easily, to Ed's amazement, was slung over her shoulder. Edward's wide eyes watched the woman who seemed frailer than Winry take such a heavy bag then easily sling it over her shoulder without any effort. "Thank you…" whispered a soft voice. Edward took a step toward the two until Roy held a hand out to his side, preventing access. "Go make sure that the officers took care of that thief." He ordered. Ed's eyes narrowed. "What!" he shouted. Roy's eyes also narrowed. "That's an order." Seeing the seriousness of the situation, Al dragged his brother away before another incident could occur.

"Why the hell do we have to? I caught the robber and he gets the credit?" Ed screamed. His small body retaliated against the large armor. Al kept Ed in his armpit, making sure the "bean" couldn't escape. Though back at the scene of the crime, Roy's dark eyes turned on the green orbs. "Since when do you visit Central?" he asked in a grave voice. The victim's head hung with a sigh. "I'm here on strict business. That's all I can say." She took a step back from him, making him start forward only to look like a fool. She hadn't planned on running, but rather bowing. She bent forward, her back arching so that she could touch the floor with her open palms if she wanted. Though she didn't, and raised up to meet his face again.

"Could you tell me… where Headquarters are?" she asked in a soft voice. His brow arched slightly. From her whispering, it was obvious that she didn't want anyone else to know where she was headed. Yet for what reason? "What do you plan to do once you're there?" he asked in a voice as soft as her own. Suddenly her stoic facial features melted into a gentle smile. "I'm sorry Roy… but I can't tell you that. Can you forgive me?" she asked. Roy smiled back at her. "I suppose just this once." He teased. Her shoulders shook faintly with silent laughter. Her eyes were full of kindness as she stared back into his matching eyes. "So can you tell me?" He nodded and pointed toward one of the exits.

"It's time to go, Full Metal." Two pairs of eyes turned toward the Colonel. He was smirking like the ass he was, obviously having something up his sleeve. "But what about our assignment?" Al asked. Roy blinked innocently, pressing a finger to his lip as though he was thinking. "Oh that… well… It's time to go." He turned and walked away. His steps were brisk, a sign that he didn't want to be questioned any further. The two brothers jogged to catch up with him. Edward glared up at the suspicious colonel. "What are you up to?" he inquired. Roy stared down at Edward and smirked. "You would know if you drank your milk." He stated. Ed's eyes twitched and he began shouting incoherently. Al tried to hush his brother. "People are staring again!" he explained. Roy laughed as he was his ever-so-jolly self again. Though in the corner of his eye, he could spot the woman from before. It was easy seeing how she was the only person in the huge crowd to wear a massive brown coat in the middle of summer. He couldn't watch her for long though, his attention had to be returned to the demanding alchemist. "What's your game?" he growled through gritted teeth. Roy smirked. "Poker. Strip-Poker."

Edward tripped flat on his face.


	3. The First Step Starts It All

**Jaded Alchemy**

by: Toorikosu

**Chapter Three: "The first step is the one that starts it all"**

Emerald hues gazed up at the concrete kingdom known as Central. It was the Eastern HQ, which had formerly been taken over by the main office "big-wigs" due to uprisings caused by a certain State Alchemist-killing Ishballin. However, thanks to the confirmation of Edward Elric, they had returned to their own offices. It was said that the killer, code named "Scar" due to the large X-shaped scar on his forehead, had returned to a small gathering of Ishballins and headed for a sanction of their people. There were rumors that a certain colonel was slowly making his way up with the plans of becoming Furher in mind.

Silent lips parted to release a soft sigh. Eyelids closed in exasperation. 'Here it is… I've just taken my second big step on to completing my mission. However, now that I'm here,' the eyes opened again to take in the details on the gate that blocked her from continuing forward. She needed to get inside, yet wasn't sure if she should go through or wait until official personnel came to escort her inside. But then when she thought about the latter, it made her wonder why would they have someone come to escort her anyways? She hadn't touched the gate as of yet, and wasn't sure if it was locked. It was easy enough to just scale the gate but wouldn't that seem suspicious? With these thoughts chasing themselves around in her head, Jadea sighed once again at her predicament.

A hand clasped over her shoulder. Automatically her eyes darted to the side and due to old habits, her fists had clenched and were prepared to swing. Though upon seeing a man in a lieutenant uniform, she halted in her process of self-defense. Gray-blue eyes studied her, and a toothpick wiggled in between his lips. A blonde brow arched slightly. "You… going in?" he asked. The toothpick bobbed up and down. "Uh.." Jadea glanced around them, practically flushing in embarrassment. She raked her fingers through the side of her hair, tipping her hat off-balance. The blonde male just stared at her, continuously wiggling that toothpick around in his mouth. Her eyes darted to the building then back to him. She smiled shyly up at him, she was only up to his shoulder. She then bowed slightly, forcing him to take a step back so they didn't collide. "Yes, Sir." She answered in a soft voice.

The man's brow twitched up slightly in amusement. He scratched the back of his head during the awkward moment. When she straightened her back, he held out his hand. "Havoc." He stated. A gloved hand reached out, while her eyes stared into his nervously. 'A name… a last name?' She gulped silently and chewed at her bottom lip. It was only at that moment that she realized she would have to release her last name truthfully. She took his hand and shook it, releasing her name. "Jadea please… just Jadea." That same blonde eyebrow arched slightly once again. He nodded; the toothpick wiggled against his lips again. "Sure." Their hands parted and his pushed open the gate. It had been unlocked after all. He crossed through and turned. His blue-gray eyes studied her thoughtfully. She was just standing there. "Coming?" She flushed and took six brisk steps inside before he shut the gate doors. "Thank you." Havoc replied with a mumble caught between the toothpick and his mouth.

The sound of their boots resonated against the concrete ground. Their arms hung as their sides, though Jadea's arms bent back slightly to clasps her hands at the small of her back. She glanced at him. "Shouldn't you have been working?" she inquired. It may have seemed to be an ignorant question but that was only a front. It was meant to seem innocent, while asking to see if there were any out-of-office procedures taking place. Had he been out of office, he may have been doing fieldwork and could have given her information that she could use for future reference. Such a simple skill came quite handy at times.

Havoc glanced at her and shrugged lightly. "Lunch break." He explained, pointing to the toothpick in his mouth with his thumb. Her head dropped. 'So much for that idea…' she thought sadly. Now it was Havoc's turn to ask a question. "What's your business here with the HQ?" Jadea stared at him and blinked rapidly. Her eyes fell to her brown boots. "I'm here… to speak with Colonel Roy Mustang if you don't mind." She whispered softly. Havoc shrugged and stopped. They were now at the doors of the entrance. "I don't mind…" he said thoughtlessly. "Come on, I'll show you his office." Jadea smiled. "Thank you." Havoc mumbled a reply that was incoherent again.

Havoc led Jadea to a closed door. Even outside they could hear the shuffling of papers and the Colonel's angered voice on the phone. Havoc bit on the toothpick nervously. It wasn't a good idea to interfere when the Colonel was angry. Just one snap could put him out of commission. Nonetheless…. Havoc glanced at Jadea. Her eyes were plowing holes into the door. He knocked on the door. "Colonel Mustang, you have a visitor." Havoc called through the door. They heard a click, assumedly it was hanging up the phone. "Tell them I'm busy." He ordered. Havoc glanced down to Jadea. Her look was troubling. She peeked up at him. Her eyes returned to the door. "Roy… it's an emergency." She called just loud enough to be heard. Silence.

The door opened abruptly, almost smacking them in the face. Roy stood there, staring down at Jadea with dark eyes. Jadea returned his solemn stare. A moment of silence passed, in which Havoc wasn't a part of but didn't want to interrupt. Mustang glanced at him and nodded. "Come on in." he told her. Jadea smiled and turned to Havoc, bowing to him. "Thank you, Havoc Sir." Havoc studied her before nodding. "Sure thing." He turned and left the two to themselves. After he was gone, the emerald hues looked up to Mustang. "Long time, no see." She commented. He nodded and ushered her into his office. He shut the door behind him. "I haven't seen you since the funeral. You didn't even stay after that…" he whispered softly. Jadea's eyes fell to the floor. "You got on the first train out of town afterwards, didn't you?" he asked. She nodded shamefully. "I couldn't… even look her in the eye. I felt so rotten." She told him truthfully. Her eyes closed.

Roy took a seat behind his desk. "Let's not be held back by past tragedies. So tell me, what's your business here in Eastern HQ?" he asked. His hands clasped on his desk. Jadea took a seat and leaned forward to him. "Roy… I need your help." She whispered. Roy's brow raised in interest. "How can I do that?" he asked. "I need you to give me all the information you can about the National Alchemist Qualification Exams." She declared. Roy's eyes widened at the statement. "Wh- why do you need information about that?" His voice was lingering on a high note. Jadea leaned back into her chair. Her eyes closed. "I'm going to take the exams and become a State Alchemist." His eyes narrowed. "No."

"Pardon?" Jadea's eyes widened as she slapped her hands onto his desk. She stood up and clenched her fists. "Roy, I have legitimate reasons to becoming a militant. You should know that I don't want to be a military dog but if it's what has to be done, then it will be done. I am ready to take the tribulation and difficulty that comes with the title. I can handle myself, I just need you to help me get started." She bowed to him. "Please Roy… I'm begging you."

Mustang scratched his head in thought. He closed his eyes and sighed loudly. 'Damn her persistence…' His eyelids opened partly and he stared out the window. "Tell me why you want to become a State Alchemist." He told her. Jadea's arms retreated to her sides. Her fingers curled into fists, cracking softly with her might. "I want revenge for Hughes's death." She declared. Roy stood up and walked over to her. They stood toe-to-toe. His dark eyes pierced her green hues. "You don't think that I'm not trying my best to find his murderers?" he accused through gritted teeth. Jadea's brow flickered upward. "There's more than one, eh?" Her eyes drifted to the ground as she fell into thought. Roy sighed softly and flicked her forehead. She stared up at him, blinking. "Huh?" She blushed and rubbed in between her eyes. "Oh… my bad."

Roy groaned softly and shifted his weight to his left foot. "You never answered my question." Jadea nodded and beamed up at him. It was amazing to Roy… how eyes that could reflect off innocence could be so tainted. "I know you're doing everything you can. But I refuse to just stand by and let you do all the work. If only I…" Roy watched as her brow furrowed. He could swear he saw moistness in the corner of her eyes. "If only I had listened to him earlier. I could have helped so much more had I began sooner!" Roy sighed softly. "There was nothing you could do… So stop regretting it." Roy whispered to her. Jadea nodded. "I'm going to make up for it. I'll complete the last request that Hughes asked of me. I'm going to become a State Alchemist!"

"He… asked that… of you?" Jadea nodded. She clenched her teeth, her eyes shutting. "He told me to do something with my life… and I won't let him down. Not again." She stared up at Roy. Raw determination flooded her eyes. Mustang nodded and returned to his seat. Opening a drawer, he pulled out a pamphlet and tossed it to her. "Fortunately for you, the exam is in two weeks. Though unfortunately, that gives you little time to prepare. I'm sure that you're aware that you'll need to review over everything you already know and learn some new tricks too. There's a writing section, an interview, and a practical section." Roy explained. He picked up his papers, gave them a brief look, and placed them back on the desk. Jadea was already poring over her own papers. "I understand, but could you go into detail about this 'practical section'?" she asked politely. Roy smirked. She didn't even bother to glance up from her notes. "It's like a free-for-all for alchemists." She blinked. "Free-for-all? Interesting… is it for every alchemist that participates?" Roy shook his head, though she didn't even see it. "First it's the writing section. Those who pass go to the interview and if they're accepted they'll take the practical section. Or… if they give a project of research that's supportive enough."

Jadea dropped the pamphlet. "Project of research…?" she asked. Roy nodded. Suddenly Jadea stood and smiled. "Thanks for everything, Roy. You're the best." She quickly turned and exited his office. Roy watched the girl in brown leave. He could practically see an aura of good will around her. 'Maybe this is a good decision for her…' His eyes widened. 'Unless!'

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Wow... finally a third chapter! This was really hard to write but once I got the inspiration I nailed it. Originally the chapter name was supposed to be "You can't see the forest for the trees" but in the end I needed to change it. I havea plan for when to bring in the Elrics but as of yet nothing's decided. I really want to thank KaiHimitsu for her never-ending support and a particular FMA website that has helped me out more than anything in writing this chapter. It will continue to help me as I write and I'm so glad to have found it. Please review, it helps me out a lot and I really appreciate it. The more reviews I get, the smoother my writing goes. Any hints of help or advice is appreciated as well. Thank you all for reading!


	4. Misfortune Seldom Comes Alone

**The Essence of Jaded**

**by: Toorikosu**

**Chapter Four: "Misfortune Seldom Comes Alone"

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**

Déjà vu… it was amazing how something so simple could seem to bring on a meaning that was so influential to one, but it was nothing more than an insignificant second glance at a thought. There was no way she could have experienced this particular scenario once before, but it was much like one that she had previously encountered. This time was different in that she had just returned from a meeting with Colonel Roy Mustang as to gather information on the National Alchemist Qualification Exams. She had just exposed the first step to her factual mission.

The last time she had stood in this same, exact train station had been weeks ago. 'Weeks…' the wound was still freshly carved into her heart. Last time the sky had reflected her spirit. It was a deep gray with slurred clouds smeared across the sky. She hadn't cried back then, nor had the sky. It looked as though both were struggling to withhold the waterworks. Nonetheless, you didn't need tears to cry. Tears would always find their way out. Whether it be from your veins or your sanity, one would eventually leak out. As for her, it was her blood that had poured in exchange for the tears she couldn't break out. Subsequent to the funeral, she had returned home of who felt her wrath. Sadly she didn't know his murderer so she couldn't seek him out to make the kill, so she had to break _something. _It was quite unlike her, one who was usually so calm and collected, but this was different from the usual. This was… Hughes's death. It just wasn't right, so why would she be right? It didn't make sense, but then again, currently it seemed that nothing made sense. Even now, she had the peculiar feeling that this very, same incident had occurred before, but her consciousness told her that it couldn't be so. She was for sure that this had never happened, nor could it have happened. Déjà vu… was as mysterious as any other old superstition that her mother had clung to like a rat to cheese. She practically fed on the time-old fallacies.

'Mother…' Gloved hands clenched. Everything was slowly rising up, threatening to spill over. Thankfully a whistle screeched through the air before she could allow any more hazardous thoughts into mind. She snatched up her luggage, alerting passerby's that she carried either heavy artillery or massive mechanical tools. More than likely they suspected the latter. Her steps were brisk, she needn't spend any more time in this wretched reminisce trap.

She returned her ticket, which would allow her to return on the train that would send her home. She was smashed against the other travelers, amazingly plentiful despite the time of day, and sighed softly. She hated train stations for many reasons, and the top of the list would always be the crowd. Every time she was pushed against another person, she had to wonder, 'Will they notice?' 'Can they feel it?' never knowing when she would be discovered. It was like she was carrying a ticking time bomb that would explode upon detection.

She stood in line, patiently waiting for her turn to step aboard the train. Slowly, the shuffling line advanced and it was her turn. She smiled. Just two more steps, then however many it would take for her to pick a seat, and then she would be home about a day. "Jadea! Miss Jadea!" Jadea hesitated. She already had one foot in the train, the other was held back. "Huh?" she blinked and twisted her torso just enough to stare behind her. All she could see was a hand waving frantically above the mob. The man was pushing hard to get through the throng of passengers. "Military officer coming through," she heard him mutter once he was nearer. He was groaning as well. Upon hearing "military" the people did their best to make way. In the end, he ended up in front of her. Jadea stepped into the train's doorway, facing her tracker. He was bent over, his hands resting on his knees as he heaved greatly.

Jadea's brow arched in interest. It was the same blonde as before. "Ah… Good afternoon, Havoc, Sir." She whispered softly. After taking his deep breaths, Havoc stood up straight. He saluted her, which she found quite odd but she saluted back, and smirked. "Colonel Mustang asked for me to give you this. 'Said you forgot it in his office." His hand reached into a pocket and withdrew a white envelope. She smiled shyly and accepted said note. "Thank you so much for personally escorting it all this way." Havoc nodded, that smirk still on his face. Something was once again wriggling in his mouth, but this time it was a cigarette. "Yeah, sure." He stepped back, as did she. A door slid shut to cut off each other's view. Jadea scouted out her seat, not seeing much sense in staring at the door even if Havoc was on the other side. Though Havoc was watching the train, waiting until it departed.

Once in her seat, Jadea used a sharp edge of her finger to tear open the envelope's seal. She pulled out a sheet of paper and let her eyes devour the contents with full interest. Roy's message read:

_Jadea, _

_I don't know what you plan to gain in joining the military but I won't stop you. If you want to take on the responsibility so much, then go for it. I suggest that you find a teacher to help you out on your studies because the exam's no walk in the park. Tons of alchemists show up every year and only one out of all is selected. You're going to have a tough challenge, and there's a chance that you may not even make it. I'm not saying that you won't, I'm saying that there's a high possibility that you're going to have a run for your money. Don't expect me to give you any pointers because I won't be able to stretch my neck out for you. As it is, I'm already here. You'll have to make your way up to me, but I'll try to give what assistance I can. It's all I can do for now, if you need anything, you know where I am. Just don't let this leak out to the public and your family. It's for the best. And, before you become a State Alchemist, make sure you're willing to sacrifice yourself for the "greater good" because you know exactly what kind of hell this is. There's no honor here, Jadea. It's a thankless slavery to the State. You may not want to let Maes down… but you shouldn't let yourself down either. Think this through clearly. You know what you are, and what you'll be, and what you could become. Don't make regrets._

_Mustang._

_Ps. In the envelope are reference listings for areas near HQ. I suggest that if you want to be within the military's research, you'll need to be close by. The farther away you are, the less likely that you'll be called upon. Think about that._

Jadea smiled. She dumped over the white paper and sure enough, a small list of numbers fell out. She picked it up and examined the reference. Her thumb smoothed over the dark ink; it smeared slightly upon contact, meaning that it had just been printed but moments before. She grinned. Things were coming together nicely… but in the back of her mind. She knew that wouldn't last for long. How long would it be before the natural course picked up to push her down the stairs of tribulation? Her eyes narrowed in on a particular number. It didn't matter… She would suffer the same and survive it with just enough spit to tell it.

'Thank you, Roy… I couldn't have done it without you.' She folded the letter back up and tucked it back into her pocket. Things were going to become even more complex from this moment forward, and she knew it. She relished it. Complex was something that she was quite familiar with. As soon as she returned home, she would rid herself of unneeded possessions. Things would be picking up on a quick pace from here on out. She would have to be ready for anything thrown her way. Her eyes narrowed in thought. 'Bring it on, you sick diminutive creatures. I'll take you full throttle.' But not yet… first things first. Everything had to come in order if it was meant to come out right. She closed her eyes, trying to bring on relaxation that teased her brain. Hopefully, sleep would overcome her soon…

Her hopes were partially fulfilled. She was drugged with sleep in no time, but rather than the peace she had desired, she was stricken with the nightmares of times before that she would kill to forget. There was no telling how long it lasted, for when she awoke it was a light gray, the sun not having quite woken up itself. The train was dark except for a soft glow from every other light socket. She sat there in silent terror. The horrendous visions from her dream still gripped her with an icy chill that seeped through her heavy apparel. She twisted her torso in the booth, doubting that she would be able to return to sub consciousness after having relived the tragic memory. It made her wonder… was it a sign or foreboding? Or had it been just a coincidence that she would dream about when the "trial of jaded" had begun? Either way, the realistic revelation was taunting and disturbing, threatening to push her into paranoia. She shook her head, trying to gain a mental grip. Pressing her cheek against the cool upholster of the seat. A glance outside the window and she saw it: her hometown. The second step was about to begin.

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Author's Commentary: Yay, finally a fourth chapter! I'm sorry that it took so long to write this one. I'm bouncing back and forth between High School's algebra and biology homework, working on my websites, and trying to type up what I wrote over the summer. It's all just so much to do. Though hopefully you can find the time to R & R! Remember, good reviews always motivate me to work faster. 

Also... I'm looking for suggestions. I'm working on an outline of this story so I know in what direction it's going but most of it is for further into the end of the story. So as for the beginning, the parts as to "how it gets there" is always the hardest for me. I'm trying to make this as un-cliche as possible, so I'm trying really hard to resist any and all pairings besides those already presented in the actual anime/manga. Unfortunatly there will be a chapter where it's unavoidable, so I apologize in advance for that. As for who it is... you'll figure that out later. And if you're hoping to see the Elric brothers some more, they may not be presented in the next, but I do have them planned for the one after that. We'll just have to see how I have things going so far. Ja ne and thanks for reading!


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